Thursday, January 8, 2015

The 1 Week Mark

Super Positive OPK indicating my HCG is probably still high
Tomorrow, Friday, makes one week since I started to miscarry.  Honestly I was hoping I'd be a little further along in this process, but, overall I'm happy with everything. The scan Monday showed that I'd passed the pregnancy, and the Dr estimated another two weeks of bleeding. I was OK with that news, but the ultrasound wand initiated some cramping and it really never stopped. From Monday until this morning I've been in varying amounts of pain and needed Advil and sampled the hydrocodone I thought for sure I'd never take.  Finally, this morning I passed a rather large piece of tissue that I suspect was causing all the problems. I felt great right afterwards and decided to take a chance by going to the gym. I had a great, easy, 3 mile run and haven't had any more issues. I guess I got too excited, but I took an OPK this afternoon since I was out of HPT's. It was ridiculously positive. I think I have a long way to go before my HCG is back to zero!

My plan is to continue healthy diet and exercise until we can start trying to conceive again. I've started running again and I'm happy that it doesn't seem like I lost any fitness during the pregnancy. I was only doing the stair stepper and elliptical during that time to keep things low impact and I thought my workouts didn't seem as tough. I'm glad I'm still pretty much where I was. I've looked into different trying to conceive herbs and supplements to speed up this miscarriage process, but I think the lesson learned from my last miscarriage is that I kind of need to just let this happen. Last time I spotted for months and kept taking black cohosh to stop the spotting. Looking back, I wonder if it was actually causing the all the spotting.  I've always been a big believer in red raspberry leaf tea as a uterine tonic so I will continue to drink that like I always have. I'm also taking extra vitamin C and folic acid, but otherwise I'm just leaving this alone.

Emotionally? I don't know what to say. I'm glad I'm running again to possibly define my feelings further, but I feel very emotionless right now. I only cried at the Dr's office when we initially found out. I haven't gotten upset since then and I'm not sure there are any more tears to cry. I guess I just truly feel like that baby was never supposed to be here. I still love him, but I feel relieved that he's finally where he's supposed to be. I'm looking forward to becoming pregnant with a baby I'll actually get to keep. I'm looking forward to keeping a pregnancy long enough to tell my 4yr old about it and see how excited he'll be. I'm looking forward to seeing my 2yr old be a big brother. I'm looking forward, and I think that's the real reason I'm not that upset.

1 comment:

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