Sunday, June 17, 2012

11 weeks update: NT Scan looms

What a busy week! What a range of emotions! It all started immediately after I posted my 10 week update last weekend. I went to the bathroom and saw blood. I guess it was just spotting, but it doesn't really matter.  You'd think an experienced girl like me would panic, but I just sighed.  Here we go again. I think my emotions completely packed themselves away in seconds. It's kind of amazing how easily I can turn my emotions off these days.  My logical brain knew this was different than last time, and the reasons seem endless.  Last time the baby passed three weeks before I saw blood, while this time, thanks to my home doppler, I'd heard the heartbeat just hours before the incident. This time we were already past the point where we lost the baby last time. This time there had been a second sac which we knew may cause some bleeding. There was every reason to believe this was still a healthy pregnancy, and honestly it couldn't have been better timing. The spotting happened just hours before my previously scheduled OB appointment. It garunteed me an ultrasound which I wouldn't otherwise have had.  Of course the baby was fine. We saw the stretching out of little legs and just as much movement as my first scan. Unfortunately, this meant we again couldn't get a great measurement, but the measurement we did get was just a day off where I thought we should be.  The second sac is pretty much gone, and they don't think I'll see anymore bleeding. I haven't, and hope I don't.

Then it was off to the beach, where I was obviously pregnant around acquaintences and friends of friends. I realized I was going to have to find an answer to the question, "Is this your first child?" I had a lot of time to relax and decide on an answer, and I think it deserves it's own post despite a plethora of blog posts on the subject in the fertility community.  It's sitting in my drafts folder and will probably be published on wednesday.

It's kind of unbelievable, but my NT scan is in 5 days.  That's the scan I've been waiting for. I know you're sick of me saying it, but I am hoping to get an accurate measurement to establish viability to my standards. Previously I'd also been hoping it would put the twin issue to rest, but I feel like last week's scan accomplished that already.  Finally, an expert (It will be a doctor specializing in early fetal scans rather than a u/s tech) will spend time looking very closely at the baby and make sure everything is ok.  I know I'm lucky to have had a scan practically every two weeks, but a cursory heartbeat check along with a poor measurement is barely any better than hearing the heartbeat on my home doppler.  All it tells me is that the baby is alive right now, and nothing about the future.  I know I'll never be totally reassured until I'm holding the baby, but I want someone to tell me prospects look good.  I hope to hear that they've checked, and don't see any problems.  I'm realy hoping to get the reassurance and confidence I missed out on during my first ultrasound. 

I'll put the results on twitter immediately after they happen on friday, and then on the weekend I'll post again. Did I mention I hope to find out the gender? I feel like there's so much other stuff to worry about I never have room to post about the fun stuff!

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