Monday, April 30, 2012

WIC way to go

My beta results 48hrs after the 26 was 72! I'm feeling very confident. Especially since my belly popped, but that's no longer enough for me. Last pregnancy my belly continued to get bigger even after the fetus had passed.  I want nausea! Last pregnancy, between 9 and 12 weeks I felt good and had no real symptoms except the belly. I now need nausea and exhaustion to keep me comfort at all times. Anytime I get even a wave of it my heart gets all aflutter as I think, "Is this it!?," but then it passes.  It's hard to acknowledge the waves as being anywhere but in my head, though I do think they're coming more frequently. Yesterday we chatted with a neighbor who was smoking and it didn't bother me until we came inside and sat down. The smell became overwhelming until I started gagging on it.  I had to take a shower to get it off me and then, first thing after I get out of the shower I smelled it coming off my clothes in the hamper! I may not have actual nausea, but the super sniffer is back!

My sad story this week is about trying to get on WIC (government assistance for pregnant women and young children) and state health insurance on friday. I knew it was going to be a pain to deal with government offices and I shouldn't expect to get everything done on friday, but I did not think that the hangup would be with my doctors office. I first traveled to each office to find out what I needed to do (neither would answer their phone). I went home and gathered all the necessary papers (3 months of pay stubs!). The first blow was realizing we'd lost ds's birth certificate. We determined it must have been lost when we registered him for preschool, and a new one will take 2-4 weeks.  That only effects how much WIC I get, and it's just a delay, so, it was more upsetting because of it's sentimental value than anything else. 

The big issue is I need a proof of pregnancy form from my doctors. I called the doctor, and they said I needed to have an ultrasound to confirm pregnancy. I was really surprised at this and said we don't wish to get an ultrasound until 9 weeks. I realize 9 weeks is no guarantee, but we don't want to see the baby until we're closer to the end of the danger zone than the beginning. 9 weeks is a few days further than we made it with the last pregnancy.  I got of the phone, but later called back and left a tearful voicemail. I had been thinking about my lost baby and how upset I'd be if I had to see another baby before he died. I really thought they should give me the form without an ultrasound. I'd still qualify for assistance if it was a blighted ovum or molar pregnancy, and they have my lab results. I'm clearly pregnant! The nurse called me back and said they understood my dilemma, (it's not a dilemma. I have nothing to decide. I'm not getting an early ultrasound.) but she spoke to the office manager and it's office policy to do the u/s before issuing the form. Eyeroll.

I asked the nurse to leave me a copy of my lab results and then today I called the health dept to see if I can get it done there. They referred me to the town pregnancy crisis center? My story is getting more and more ridiculous.  This is where young girls go to get abortions.  This formal infertile is about to set foot inside an abortion clinic! They don't perform abortions on site, but it's still weird as hell.  I called to confirm they can give me the stupid form without an ultrasound, and I have an appt there tomorrow. 

I hope they can do what they say and aren't just trying to get me in the door. If not, I'll just have to wait until I'm 9 weeks to get anything. I know it's only a month, but right now we pay $415 a month for private health insurance so it really makes a big difference.  Hopefully I can get this all sorted out tomorrow, but, if not, I'll just wait it out and continue to enjoy my pregnancy.  Though this was stressful and it was upsetting to imagine going through another loss, I kept my healthy baby in mind and reminded myself how happy I am to be pregnant!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Beta results, TTC methods, and How I told DH

Beta results from yesterday at 11DPO are 26! yay! I'm definitely pregnant. Today I took DS to his playgroup which includes all my mommy friends in town. They all know about my miscarriage, fertility troubles, and that I was doing clomid this month. I came in, annouced I was pregnant, and they all gave me a big cheer. It warmed me to tears and I actually cried! A wonderful experience, and I received my beta results while I was there which made it offical.

I wanted to include exactly what we tried this month for my readers also trying to conceive with PCOS.  I've been on 1500metformin for more than 6 months (I feel like I should be at 2000, but the doc refused).  We did 50mg clomid on cycle days 3 through 7.  I took 2000mg vitamin C up until ovulation, because there are somes studies showing it helps induce ovulation. Many women take it throughout their pregnancy, but I stopped after O becuase I also used it to help complete my miscarriage and I just didn't want to associate the two.  I might start it again at 35weeks or so to prepare for birth.  In between AF stopping and ovulation I took a 200 vit E for a few days. It's the only thing proven to build up the uterine lining, but I just got the feeling from using it last cycle that it works for me REALLY well.  I don't know if you can have lining be too thick, but I decided only to take it for a few days this time. I think I did four days. I have taken and will continue to take fish oil with about 240mg DHA, B vitamin complex, 2000 vit D, and a prenatal vitamins every day.  I also took 81mg baby aspirin everyday this cycle, and I now think it's cruicial for me to ever get a bfp. When you get your first bfp, you come up with all sorts of ideas about what was the thing that finally tipped the scales in your favor. After being pregnant three times tho, I can now say baby aspirin is one of the only common thing to all three bfps. The day before O we used pre-seed, and the day of O we didn't, so, I'm not sure if it helped or not.  I hope this info helps someone else!

To tell DH I was pregnant I told him I'd been going through my old computer pics and found these two videos of DS as a baby.

Then afterwards I asked if he missed having a little baby, because we were going to have another one! After what we went through with our last pregnancy he didn't want to get too excited in the beginning, but he did require extra cuddles with DS after seeing his cute baby videos. I'd say we're both cautiously optimistic.  After last time, we know this doesn't necessarily mean we'll end up with a baby, but it's a necessary step in the right direction. We're so happy to be on this road again. I feel very at peace with this pregnancy, and I can't wait to see it progress.

Monday, April 23, 2012


It started on 8DPO with nothing. I wasted a FRER way to early and it was negative, but once you start testing it's really hard to stop. 9DPO brought me a morning negative, and then an afternoon positive. The morning test also turned positive that day, but both occured outside of the time limit. I was excited, but unconvinced.

Most people say they can't see the lines, but I saw them.

10DPO. Of course I was really looking forward to testing, but I'd worked 3rd shift the night before and only had 3hrs of sleep. Negative that morning. Later in the day I finally was able to hold it for 5hrs and then test. It was faintly positive within the time limit. Afterwards it became even more clear, but I didn't take a pic.

Faint positive, pic taken within time limit.

I'M PREGNANT!! It's only 10DPO so only a faint line is to be expected. I really went through a whole range of emotions, but not as much excitement as this news deserves. The problem was I spent 24hrs not knowing if it was really a real bfp or not. When I finally recieved confirmation I felt relief, then happiness, and then became really tearful. I was so happy, and it had been such a long two week wait (though I know most are longer). I just needed to cry it out. Afterwards, only happiness and relief remained.

I weaned my son last week (he's 2) and now I'm so glad. It was an easy transition, almost a mutal decision between us, and I'm so glad my body can now focus on growing a new healthy baby. I know breastfeeding during pregnancy is safe for most women, but I already have PCOS and take metformin. I wonder if maybe it's too much for me to do both. I'm so glad I don't have to worry about that anymore.

I go through periods of cramping and googling info on ectopic pregnancy, and then realize it's my slow digestive system and not my reproductive system. Cramping is so often mentioned in due date clubs that I actually think it's a sign of healthy pregnancy. As each of my pregnancies have begun, I've sworn that each was going to be the one to give me terrible morning sickness, but I've never had it that bad. This pregnancy I have that same 'feeling'. Like that moment when you realize you've had WAY too much to drink, and you know sickness is coming, but before it actually comes. That's how I feel now. Like, "whew! I'm going to be sick tomorrow!" But, with my last two pregnancies the actual wave of nausea wasn't near as bad as those dark clouds fortold. I guess I usually have the perfect amount of nausea. Just enough to reassure, but not enough to ruin your life.

 I really can't wait. I can't wait for all of it. The morning sickness, ultrasounds, and doctors appointments, but most of all I can't wait to have a belly and feel the baby move. I never got to feel my last baby move though it was something I really looked forward too. That pregnancy was ended so soon, and so unexpectedly, I immediately missed being pregnant. It's such a relief to feel that way again. I absolutely love being pregnant! So happy to be back in this place.

Next up, betas, Blood tests to check HCG hormone levels. I think anything over 5 is pregnant, and then we need to watch the numbers increase for a while to verify healthy pregnancy. I'd like to do two this week (4th week of pregnancy) and two the sixth week of pregnancy, but I'll discuss with the doc. I hope to get the results on the 23rd, but the 24th is more likely. I'll blog an update then including the story of how I told my husband and a detailed description of everything I did this cycle ttc.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Parenting a Child with Food Allergies Part 2: Mom of the Allergic Child

You can read about how we discovered our son's first food allergies here in Part 1: There's Something Wrong. After our son's first allergic reaction and an oversimplified diagnosis by our pediatrician, we had a few months to wrap our head around everything.  I'm embarrassed to say it now, but I felt shame. It's hard to admit, but I think it's important for me to let other moms know that's a normal feeling. I felt like I had produced a defective baby and was embarrassed. Of course, my love for him didn't change for an instant, but I was hesitant to tell family and friends about his allergens.  I'd known of other kids in my childhood who were 'sickly', and they were really frowned upon by my family and especially my mother. My mom never directly said it was a result of poor parenting, or over-parenting, but I definitely got that impression.  Not to mention all the things they say on the news that supposedly cause food allergies, too clean/too dirty, breastfeeding/not breastfeeding, un-natural labor, environmental factors, etc.  It was hard for me to believe any of these explanations because my son was so clearly born an allergic child.  Nothing made him this way, he had these allergies from the very beginning.  It's laughable that my house is too clean. He never had formula, and I seriously doubt that my parenting in the first two days of life caused it.  It's hard not having an explanation, but you have to get past it.  It becomes a part of daily life, and I don't ever have feelings like shame or embarrassment any more.  In fact, I can't imagine him any other way.

We had a lot of reactions in between that first visit with the pediatrician, and our first visit with an allergist. We realized benedryl needed to be carried at all times, and facial swelling with each allergic reaction continued.  It made each reaction terrifying. Each time I'd wonder if the swelling was going to stop.  Other parents of kids with food allergies are shaking their heads right now that we didn't have an epi-pen, and when I look back, it kind of angers me that our pediatrician even saw a photograph of a reaction and didn't recommend an allergist or an epi. 

Here are the only photos I have of reactions during this time.

We never figured out what caused this, and you can't see the hives, but you can see he rubbed it into his eye. We weren't carrying benedryl this time, so pic was taken during the mad dash home.
Ugh. This reaction. UGH. It was a super mild reaction, I'm not sure we even used the benedryl. What we DID do was put hydrocortisone cream on his face to treat. I later learned you should never use that stuff on the face because it can discolor the skin. ARGH! He looked like he had chocolate on his face for over three months!

Facial swelling/hives. This is just what it always looked like almost every time. (In the pic he's passed out from benedryl) 
I eventually demanded a referral to an allergist (I demanded, but our doc is super easy going. I could have just asked).  Then we had to wait a month for the appointment.  Our history of poor medical professionals led me to do a tremendous amount of research during this time. I wanted to understand everything the allergist said, and be able to ask the right questions and agree with any suggested treatment plan. It was during this time that I found the forums at the Kids with Food Allergies Foundation. The other allergy moms there were so much help to me in preparing for my first allergist appointment and beyond.  Every time I had a problem, a question, a worry, or just needed to rant, they were there. They're a harsh group, used to literally fighting for their children's lives, and they won't mince words if they think what you're doing is unsafe.  At first I was intimidated, but over time I could listen to their advice and still feel confident in my own decisions.

We finally met our allergist and I liked him immediately. It's hard for me to trust doctors and I still research everything he suggests to be sure, but so far he's been really good. We did simple skin testing at our first appointment. Skin testing is not recommended or accurate for kids under 12 months, but he was 16 months by the time we got an appointment.  The allergist recommended we test only for the top 8 most common allergens, and we decided to also test for peanuts and tree nuts. A total of ten skin pricks. I went into the appointment hoping for a blood test instead of skin, but now I'm so glad we just did skin.  For us, skin testing is so much quicker, easier, and more accurate.  Ds was not in pain when they were doing the pricks or as they began to inflame, although he did get annoyed the nurse was behind him instead of playing with him.

Pics from skin testing.

As you can clearly see, he tested positive for milk, eggs, and peanuts.  This explained some, but not all of our mystery reactions. We had a final diagnosis. Now we just had to come up with a treatment plan. How hard could that be? lol.

To be continued in Part 3

Friday, April 20, 2012

Parenting a child with food allergies: Part 1, There's Something Wrong

I stared at a title and blank screen for several minutes contemplating the enormity of it all. Part of me wants to say it wasn't really that big of a deal, that we were lucky enough to be able to handle it while accepting more risk than others. The other part of me wants to jump straight to the fear of that first allergic reaction, or the months spent waiting for a diagnosis, the startlingly long list of allergens, and then the frustration that still comes with each allergic reaction. I guess with all stories you just start at the beginning and then try to come to some conclusion.

Our breastfeeding relationship got off to a rough start, and only continued due to my perseverance (if I do say so myself).  The first few days were spent with the both of us sobbing, but I never gave in, and we made it with a nipple shield. It never got easy until after the first year. So many times he would refuse to nurse, and I'd have no idea why. When he was a few months old the constipation started. He would grunt and groan as if he were straining to go during almost every feeding. It wasn't unusual for him to go ten days, and it was painful when he'd go.  That's ten days of grunting and straining without producing. Our pediatrician always said it was normal. He'd say some babies just had trouble learning how to poo. I felt like something was wrong, but it didn't seem like reflux and I didn't known of anything else that it could be. The sad thing about it was he was such a content baby. He never cried except for when he was in pain, but he was in pain a few times every day. We jokingly called it his 'tummy trouble' and held him through it. I even remember telling people I thought something was wrong, and they offered typical suggestions. Nobody ever suggested allergies. And does it sound like he had food allergies to you? I feel guilty about it, but the fact is he didn't have any obvious symptoms. My content, never cries baby suffered almost every day of almost the entire first year of his life because I didn't know he had food allergies.

We found out at 10 months.

My 10 month old baby
At nine months DH and I took DS in for a regular checkup. Again we mentioned the tummy troubles, again we were told some babies just have trouble going. We'd been cruising along at the 20-25th percentile for weight, but this time we'd dropped down to the 15th. The doc suggested we start adding whole milk yogurt and as many healthy fats as possible.  Enh, he seemed fine to me.  He was happy, healthy, and had fat rolls. I didn't really think he was too skinny, and although he did enjoy a puree of squash or sweet potatoes, he really wasn't that into eating solids yet. It took me a month to get around to buying yogurt for him to try, and we tried it.

We should have taken him to the hospital. If I'd known then what I know now, we would have. That very first reaction still stands as the worst he's ever had. DH fed him the yogurt for about 2 minutes, and then asked me, "how do I know if he's allergic?" I said, "I don't know, I guess swelling or hives." I saw him look under ds's chin and jump up, "he's having a reaction."  I became so filled with panic at those words I became lethargic. I was so focused on not panicking, I wasn't able to do anything except not panic. I had DH wash his face, and I slowly, slowly looked for children's benedryl. We didn't know if he was old enough to take it, and to this day I still don't know why we had it. Why would we have a new, unopened bottle of children's benedryl?  Had to have been fate, because our baby was in trouble and really needed it. His face was blood red, and absolutely covered in hives. There were hives on top of hives. I really can't describe it enough for you to visualize, but there was no tiny millimeter of skin that was not covered. Even more worrisome, his cheeks and lips were very swollen. We guessed at the dosage, and held our breath. The hives began to fade very slowly and the swelling didn't get worse. He nursed to sleep.  I put him down in the pack n play next to the couch and checked on him every ten minutes into the night. When he awoke to nurse 5hrs later, he really seemed back to normal except for a touch of swelling. Though never as severe, this became his typical reaction. Facial hives/Facial swelling.

Though not the blogger at this time, I felt it was important to take pictures to show our lackadaisical pediatrician.

Only the larger hives showed up on this pic. There are thousands of smaller hives in between them.
Taken with my cell after we put him in PJ's and nursed him to sleep. Many of the hives are gone, but red face and swelling remained.

We didn't take him to the pediatrician right away. My husband was trying to get a new business started, and we had another checkup in less than two months. We knew he had a milk allergy, and it was a lot for me to deal with. I avoided milk and all his tummy troubles resolved. Easy as that. A simple dietary change on my part that could have prevented months of pain for him. When I cried it was not because he had a health problem, it was because I had known something was wrong and he suffered because I didn't act. When we finally went back for his 12 month checkup, I showed the pictures. "WHOA!" said the pediatrician, "That's quite a reaction! A lot of kids have milk allergies, but that...that's quite a reaction." Believe it or not, he went on to tell me an allergist wasn't necessary, he was probably only allergic to milk, and he'd grow out of it shortly. Oh, if only that were true.

Continued in Part 2: Mom of the Allergic Child.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

What do the lines mean on a Clearblue Digital Ovulation Test Stick?

I finally decided to switch to Clearblue Digital Ovulation Test's last month while trying to get pregnant. You can buy them anywhere and they worked great, but curiosity got the best of me and I decided to photograph each test stick this month to see if I could figure out the mystery. What do the lines mean on a Clearblue Digital Ovulation Test? Are they truly meaningless? Or can you detect your LH surge just by looking at the lines.

If you're still wondering what is an ovulation test or when to test for ovulation, you can find the directions to the tests in question here. There is only one statement concerning lines on the test stick which reads, "You can not determine your result from any lines that you see on the test stick."  That's all fine and dandy, but after months of painstakingly staring/analyzing the lines on regular opk's I felt the need to see how the lines on a digital test stick change with the LH surge and post them on the internet for people wondering the same thing.

Survey says...YES, the lines on the test stick seem to work very similar to the lines on a regular opk. they get darker close to O, and when detecting the LH surge they end up as dark as the control line.  One of the big differences seems to be that the digital reader can read a result before the line reaches it's darkest.  The digital reader gives a result within a few minutes, but it takes ten minutes or more for the lines to be their darkest.  You can see in the last pic, the test line is not yet as dark as the control. What you can't see is that test line eventually did get as dark as the control. All the other sticks, read as negatives, never had the test line get as dark even days later.

Embarrassingly, I didn't get a shot of the final and only test stick showing my LH surge although I do have the read error I got from the same sample. Apparently all that was forgotten in all the excitement of finally getting a positive.  If it's necessary for me to use opk's next month (I hope not!) I'll edit this post with a pick of that positive test stick. 

Here's the pics! I ovulated the day after my positive opk, so I've included days before positive and days before ovulation.

5 Days before positive, 6 Days before ovulation

4 Days before positive, 5 Days before O

3 Days before positive, 4 Days before O

2 Days before positive, 3 Days before O

1 Day before positive, 2 Days before O

The above pic is the day of the positive and the day before ovulation. You can see the test line is the darkest yet. It's less than five minutes after dipping. Within 15minutes after dipping the test line and the control line are both as dark as they can be. On a regular OPK that would be a very strong positive, and though this stick showed a read error. I used another stick in the same sample to get the pic below. My much wished for positive OPK.

Why didn't I put the test stick under this?!!

Hope this helped. If I go through this again next month I'll include a series of pics that also shows the sticks at their darkest after more time has past.  Happy testing!

Monday, April 16, 2012

4DPO Update!

I hope to blog a lot during this two week wait. I have plans to do an analysis of the lines on digital opk's, a post on my son's food allergies, and another on our homeschooling. Hopefully it will take some of the stress away. (They'll be clearly labeled in the title for those who have primary IF and would rather not read parenting posts) Amazingly, I've been more excited during this two week wait than stressed out. I feel like I have a lot of really great signs/symptoms. I've been very crampy starting yesterday, and cramping on both sides which is very unusual for me. Usually I just cramp on the side I ovulated. I think it's in the realm of possibility that I ovulated on both sides due to the clomid.  This means twins are a possibility, but I'd rather have two babies than none, so I'm unconcerned. Also yesterday I woke up with loads of creamy CM.  I've been stalking the symptom lists at and I feel really confident. I haven't looked at the twin symptom lists yet, but I'm going too!

The clomid bloat has made my normal two week wait bloat even worse! LOOK AT ME!
It's even worse than it looks here. I'm wearing my fat pants, and they're really baggy.  I'm cool with it as long as I get pregnant. I'm one of those lucky girls who shows before the pee stick dries. I don't mean that sarcastically. I love being pregnant, and love showing off my belly. I get to move into maternity clothes around 8 weeks and it's wonderful. I wear tight clothes straight away even though I just look fat. I don't care! Especially when there's no telling if the pregnancy will last, I'll want to enjoy every minute. Plus, due to gifts and donations, my maternity clothes are newer and nicer than my regular clothes. I can't wait to get into them again!

If you've done this fertility thing a while you've probably at least heard of a P4. I'm paying out of pocket to get one this cycle.  It's a blood test that measures progesterone on CD21 which would be 7 days after ovulation. From the results, you can make an educated guess as to whether or not you ovulated, and sometimes whether you dropped more than one egg.  I have mixed feelings about it for a few reasons.  We have to pay out of pocket for it, and the information will be useless if I get pregnant. But, if not, then the info will very helpful in planning a protocol for next cycle.  Although I'm confident in this cycle, I feel like not performing the test will give me bad juju. The new kink in the plan is that I know from CM/CP and OPK's that I didn't ovulate until CD18, but my doctor doesn't believe in any of those detection methods, nor does she believe that a woman on clomid will O on any day other than 14. This means I'm still getting the test done on CD21, and it will probably show that I may not have ovulated. I realize I could lie and do the test at 7DPO anyway. I've considered this, but decided against it because if i don't get pregnant the doc will not have accurate info to plan a new protocol.  If it does show low progesterone, I am going to ask to repeat the test at 7DPO. I'm hoping this will prove to the doc that I o'd when I say I did, and will also give me a hint about a twin possibility. Yes, this would mean we have to pay out of pocket for two tests. What can I say? Infertility's a bitch. lol.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

It's an Ovulation Celebration!

After days of stressing out, worrying, and feeling sorry for myself, I finally got my smiley face, a positive ovulation test! Thanks to all my twitter friends and those on Soulcysters online forum for giving me so much support and advice. I needed it!

But that wasn't all.  We still had to BD! It's really hard and stressful to BD at least every other day for ten days or more. Then you get the +opk and none of that counts. The pressure is on to make the next two days count. I realize it's possible to O 36hrs after the positive. But we can't do it 3 days in a row. DH has been so supportive and tolerant of all this despite working long hours and being a wonderful father. I'm not going to ask him to do it again tomorrow. We had good sessions last night/this afternoon, and that should be more than enough. We did it! In fact, tomorrow I'm taking him to his favorite local buffet to thank him for how great he's been. It's an Ovulation Celebration! We really are feeling that sense of overwhelming relief. It's a celebratory atmosphere to have that pressure gone.

 I can't emphasize how much more stressful a medicated cycle is than a natural one. I had no idea how my body was going to respond to the clomid, so I couldn't guess when I would O like I can in a natural cycle. My CM/CP were kind of crazy in the days leading up to ovulation.  It made me constantly think O was eminent. I was taking OPK's twice a day. Always kicking myself for wasting the digital tests, or for being stupid for not testing when things were looking so good. I'm so glad that's over! I'll still test out the LH surge, but the stress of O is over. Yes!

I'm in the two week wait! Haven't yet done the fun things like calculating when my due date would be or scouring temp charts on fertility friend to see how soon most people O after getting a positive OPK. But that's the beauty of the two week wait, I don't have too! There's no longer a desperate sense of urgency. I can now obsess at my leisure instead of feeling like any break might cause us to miss our chance. phew!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Monday, April 9, 2012

Oh, elusive O. CD14 update

On CD12 I was feeling the pressure build.

CD13 I was thinking, "Wow, this is even more stressful than yesterday!"

Today was CD14 (it's now 2am on CD15) and we had a great procreational BD in the afternoon. I'd used preseed beforehand. The actual deed went well. Raised hips for 20min afterwards, and I was even able to insert an Instead Soft Cup and keep everything next to my cervix for another hour. What a waste, I thought, because I wasn't ovulating. Yet, throughout the day I kept noticing EWCM. Then in the evening I had large amounts of it. When I checked my cervix, it was high and wide open! YES! I eagerly took a digital OPK to confirm ovulation and it was negative. bummer. Hoping I just was testing a bit before the surge I tested again around 1am. Negative, bummer.

Yes, I'm happy my CP is so favorable, but it's doubtful our next BD will go as well as this one on the hubs day off.  I had time to do everything right. I was really hoping the timing would work out to give us our best shot. :(

I don't want to end on a negative note tho. There's a bright side to everything, and O'ing on monday means my CD21 P4 test will be done 7 days after O.  My OB has you do the test on CD21 no matter when you actually ovulated, but because of the weekend I'll have to do it on CD22. Assuming I O on monday, this will be 7DPO which is when I'd rather do the test anyway. Another bonus? I'm really into natural birth, and medical interventions skyrocket around the holidays. If I O on CD15 my due date would be 12/31/12. Assuming this baby is as late as my first child, I'd barely make it through the holidays into the new year. Of course they come up with these dates with ultrasound, but if I don't O until tuesday, we'd have an even greater chance of a january due date. Would I trade the prefered due date for an earlier O? Hard to say. Luckily, it's completely out of my hands. I'll happily take whatever I get. (Unless it's very late O or no O. That would be sad!)

I should mention the possibility that I've already ovulated and just missed catching my surge on an opk. I don't think so for several reasons. Last cycle my LH hormones were detectable by the opk for 3 days, and I had a lot of pain in my left ovary after O for three days. I don't have any pain now.  Also, on CD13 this cycle my cervix didn't seem favorable at all.

I can't believe only 2 days after my last update, NOTHING has happened and yet I still managed to write this much. Goes to show how stressed I am about this. It's so important we get the timing right. I'll be so relieved when O is over and I'm safely in the 2ww.

Friday, April 6, 2012

CD12 Update: Thoughts on the Pressures of a Medicated Cycle

12 days into my first medicated cycle, and it's already so different from a natural cycle.  While I've always respected other women's decisions ttc, I could never understand why anyone would willingly take a break from ttc. What I didn't know is how much more INTENSE a medicated cycle feels. I still don't think I'll take a break until I get pg, but WOW. While waiting to ovulate in the past has been an easy break from timed intercourse and the dreaded 2ww, this cycle it's been equally or even more stressful. I can't imagine how stressed I'll be once ovulation does happen.

I swore I wouldn't waste away digital ovulation tests like I did last month, but I've been testing since CD9. I've researched and found that CM/CP tend to get favorable on and off during a clomid cycle. While favorable CP is a good sign, it doesn't necessarily mean impending O. Opk's are more accurate, but multiple positives are common on clomid cycles. My conclusion is that we need to BD like crazy!Fortunately, desire has not been an issue. My husband has mused that perhaps the secret to clomid's success is simply making women want sex more often so they end up pregnant. HA. If only timing were the issue. Other side effects have included exhaustion, intolerance of in-laws, cravings for minty foods, and maybe slightly more emotional. Not nearly as bad as I expected. My PMS symptoms are easily worse than this.

After AF ended I took Vit E for a few days to build up my uterine lining, and I just started taking guaifenisen to improve my CM. I've taken Vitamin C daily, but will discontinue after ovulation. I hope to use pre-seed if we get a positive opk, but in the past we've always ended up not using it. Every day this cycle I'm taking cod liver oil capsules, baby aspirin, 1500 metformin, 2000vit D, vit B complex, and a prenatal vitamin. 

Diet? Ugh. It's so hard to eat healthy! My only real goals are to have 2 servings each of fruit and veggies daily, and to limit sugar/caffeine. Seems so simple and yet it's rare that I acheive all my goals everyday. Despite it being extremely unlikely my poor diet contributed to my miscarriage, my poor diet while pregnant is something I now feel really guilty about. After O I'll be giving up caffeine entirely, and making healthy diet a priority.