Sunday, February 19, 2012

Neither trying nor preventing. Also known as TTC Denial

I once read that in most GYN's patient checkup admission forms, they have a box to check if you're TTC, and that if a patient checks that box, the GYN follows a protocal of reccommending prenatal vitamins, general health practices, etc.  A study was done to see what percentage of women were "neither trying nor preventing" pregnancy as opposed to TTC, and it was discovered over 30% of women of childbearing age were in that neither trying nor preventing category. It turns out, only a small percentage of women ever get to check the TTC box, most women "just let nature take it's coarse" (eyeroll) and see what happens. The study suggested that GYN's apply those TTC protocals to all women of childbearing age since they were missing a large portion of women before they became pregnant. Having a child is scary, getting pregnant is the first step, and it turns out most people don't draw themselves a roadmap to parenthood. They just close their eyes and jump.

"Neither trying nor preventing" is a regular fertile persons version of trying to conceive.  It's TTC denial. TTC without putting pressure on yourself, without timing anything, and without consulting any charts.  It's waiting until you're late to take a pregnancy test, enjoying evening glasses of wine and faraway vacations, but not without that nagging question in the back of your mind. Could I be pregnant? Is this the month our lives will change?

I guess that's where we are now, not two months after our loss.  This month we claim to be neither trying nor preventing, but I think we're in TTC denial. Dh still wants to know when O happens. I'm still shopping digital OPK's. We're really not doing anything different than when we normally TTC, except it's just too hard to admit it to ourselves. When will we TTC again? Probably not until April. For now, we're holding hands at the top of the cliff with our eyes closed. We're neither trying nor preventing.

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