Thursday, October 27, 2011

OH PCOS

People on twitter must think I'm completely disconnected from my body and have no idea what's going on. I'm not. I have PCOS which sends conflicting signals. It raises some hormone levels and drops others. It's really hard to know whats going on, and sometimes I forget that. Although I've spent three years reading the latest research (during which I beat PCOS and delivered my wonderful son), and actively learned from other women on online IF forums, I still can be completely wrong. I have this confidence that comes from constantly educating myself on PCOS and reproduction, but I've been hoodwinked by PCOS yet again.

Since my period returned at 10 months postpartum, I have been charting my cycles, but not including bbt info due to my sleep schedule.  I've just been charting cervical mucus and cervical position. My cycle was 45 days at first, but soon shortened to 35 days and slowly shortened even more to 31 days. I've been super excited about this because a normal length cycle is a big deal for ladies with PCOS.  I've not been able to tell whether my cervix was open or not, but could tell position and texture, and especially with guifenisen I would notice an increase in CM around CD 18 or so. My cervical position would move up, and I'd assume I was ovulating.  I'd be further encouraged because my period would arrive exactly 14 days later. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't. There's no garuntees with PCOS, but I now think my body was just going through the motions without actually ovulating.

So, all this time (Just 5 cycles, certainly not as long as some.) I've thought I was ovulating.  I've endured two week waits and endless negative pregnancy tests, and there's been no chance!!  I was really on the fence about going on clomid, but now i'm certainly considering it. Whats the point of going through a natural cycle if I have no chance? Ugh, it boggles the mind.

This post is getting too long so I'll sum up. I realized all this because I actually ovulated. Either yesterday or today, I don't know. But my cervix has never been so open, my mucus....I'll spare you the details, but you get it. And not just that. So many other symptoms that people have reported around ovulation, mood swings, naseous, a bit frisky, cramps, food cravings, all in a two day span. I'm annoyed that I've spent 6 months trying to conceive without ovulating, AND annoyed that I was on day 11 of an imagined two week wait, and now i'm starting over. But, I'm really glad to have an actual chance. I always said I'd start blogging when I actually got pregnant and make a pregnancy blog, but I couldn't wait any longer. Maybe I started one on the day I conceived! I hope so. And, I could be completely wrong again. With PCOS, you never ACTUALLY know whats going on without blood tests and ultrasounds.  Curious to see if my period comes in 3 days, or 14 days...or I'll take a bfp anytime!!

2 comments:

  1. Well, I don't think you're disconnected from your body at all. PCOS has been giving me the same miscommunications since I started charting a year and a half ago. While I'm currently on a break from temping, I just can't seem to help checking my CM. Lol, who actually says things like this?

    Anyway, fingers definitely crossed for you!!

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  2. Thanks for the encouragment. I guess I just got cocky thinking I knew exactly what was happening, but with PCOS you never know!

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