Monday, October 31, 2011

PCOS Conjecture

No Period came. Lots of cramps in the morning and early afternoon, and then they faded into the occaisional twinge. I'm going to lay it out.

Possible O on CD17 after numerous signs.
CD28 (11DPO) I get even stronger O signs. Including signs i've never had before. This makes me think i've never actually O'd in all these cycles. My body's just been going through the motions.

CD28 possible ovulation was so strong I had cramps and the cramps continued through that day and 2 more days. I'm still kind of getting them. This made me realize I was 14 days past the CD17 possible ovulation and the cramps were probably my period coming. This made me sad.

Since I've been ttc #2 I've never been wrong about an anticipated AF arrival.  The past two cycles I guessed it down to within 2 hours.  If CD17 was right, then AF is offically late. Which got me on to a new theory. Perhaps I did O on CD17, and ACTUALLY CONCEIVED. (funny how this never crossed my mind up til now.) Perhaps on 11DPO the embryo implanted and thats all the cramping i felt and continue to feel. Perhaps I'm pregnant.

I held my pee for 4 hours, used an internet cheapie, bfn. :(

Thoughts? Theories? I guess i still could be pregnant, or it could be the CD28 ovulation theory, or changing luteal phase?

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Wrong Again

It took me a while to catch on. I'm thinking, "how long do these O cramps stick around?" Finally it hits me. AF is around the corner. There are AF cramps, not O cramps. Which means I was right originally about when I o'd. The whole CD28 ovulation was completely in my imagination. The symptoms weren't tho. I really did have classic signs of ovulation, even stronger and more pronounced then I ever have. It makes no sense. I have no explaination.  I don't know if I ovulated on CD17 (which would make AF due today) or day 28 with all the strong signs.  I've heard of a lot of ovulation signs 7 days after O due to the hormones released by the follicle (I actually did get those 7 days after CD17) but never so much so late.

I've had success in the past using Soy Isoflavones instead of clomid on select days early in the cycle to make me ovulate and ovulate earlier. This cycle I did 200mg days 5-9, and the previous 2 cycles I did 200mgs days 3-7. I'm wondering if I should have increased the dosage a lot more. I didn't because I thought I was ovulating, but now I'm not so sure. I'm doing a natural cycle next because I don't believe in screwing with hormones more than 3 cycles in a row, but perhaps after that I should take up my OB on that cycle of clomid she offered. Also during this time I'm thinking about seeing a naturopathic doctor. I have one in mind and I'm thinking of calling monday to investigate the cost. I didn't think I needed help, but clearly I have no idea whats going on. I need help.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

OH PCOS

People on twitter must think I'm completely disconnected from my body and have no idea what's going on. I'm not. I have PCOS which sends conflicting signals. It raises some hormone levels and drops others. It's really hard to know whats going on, and sometimes I forget that. Although I've spent three years reading the latest research (during which I beat PCOS and delivered my wonderful son), and actively learned from other women on online IF forums, I still can be completely wrong. I have this confidence that comes from constantly educating myself on PCOS and reproduction, but I've been hoodwinked by PCOS yet again.

Since my period returned at 10 months postpartum, I have been charting my cycles, but not including bbt info due to my sleep schedule.  I've just been charting cervical mucus and cervical position. My cycle was 45 days at first, but soon shortened to 35 days and slowly shortened even more to 31 days. I've been super excited about this because a normal length cycle is a big deal for ladies with PCOS.  I've not been able to tell whether my cervix was open or not, but could tell position and texture, and especially with guifenisen I would notice an increase in CM around CD 18 or so. My cervical position would move up, and I'd assume I was ovulating.  I'd be further encouraged because my period would arrive exactly 14 days later. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't. There's no garuntees with PCOS, but I now think my body was just going through the motions without actually ovulating.

So, all this time (Just 5 cycles, certainly not as long as some.) I've thought I was ovulating.  I've endured two week waits and endless negative pregnancy tests, and there's been no chance!!  I was really on the fence about going on clomid, but now i'm certainly considering it. Whats the point of going through a natural cycle if I have no chance? Ugh, it boggles the mind.

This post is getting too long so I'll sum up. I realized all this because I actually ovulated. Either yesterday or today, I don't know. But my cervix has never been so open, my mucus....I'll spare you the details, but you get it. And not just that. So many other symptoms that people have reported around ovulation, mood swings, naseous, a bit frisky, cramps, food cravings, all in a two day span. I'm annoyed that I've spent 6 months trying to conceive without ovulating, AND annoyed that I was on day 11 of an imagined two week wait, and now i'm starting over. But, I'm really glad to have an actual chance. I always said I'd start blogging when I actually got pregnant and make a pregnancy blog, but I couldn't wait any longer. Maybe I started one on the day I conceived! I hope so. And, I could be completely wrong again. With PCOS, you never ACTUALLY know whats going on without blood tests and ultrasounds.  Curious to see if my period comes in 3 days, or 14 days...or I'll take a bfp anytime!!